i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
