So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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