how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
