All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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