You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wear drunk well.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
