He is an equal opportunity slut.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
