so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize