Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
