Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
