this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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