I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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