i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
