The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
