so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
