Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
