and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
