things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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