Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize