dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
True strength comes from lack of pants
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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