Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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