is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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