I could have mohawked her pubes.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
