Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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