It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
