do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
