Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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