I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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