Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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