I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
