Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
