it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There r osticjed everywhere
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
