I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
is wine microwaveable?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
