I love black thongs
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
