Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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