1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize