found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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