im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
