I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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