I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
