we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
