I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
