Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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