you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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