..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
