I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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