NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
