party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Drunk is not a location!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
