You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
bring money and cleavage
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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