You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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