Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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