***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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