Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
