she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
