I hate all girls vehemently.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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