I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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