I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
