i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
