I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
