at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
