Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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