North Korea, Best Korea!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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