I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
