Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this will be a night to untag.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
