dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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